Want to lose 5 pounds fast?

Come to my house! I have a wacky bathroom scale and depending on where you position it on the floor, your weight fluctuates by about 5 pounds with stops in between depending on how much you want to punish or reward yourself. I have taken this as a sign that I should stop weighing myself entirely and also that 5 pounds is totally insignificant. So if you are out there worrying about 5 pounds or shit even 10 - I free you from your worry. Because if 5 pounds is insignificant... 10 pounds minus the insignificant 5 pounds is 5 pounds... which is insignificant! Now go and enjoy your day. You are perfect.