Things are Going

Lately, things have just been going. There are moments when I'm on top of the world and very content, then there are times that are very challenging. On the challenging side, my little one has decided that she would like to have adult sleep patterns. I'm not sure what is compelling her to stay up until 9:30 or 10:00; I always think that the late night will help her to sleep in until 7:00, but up she pops at 6:00 am. She also likes to come running into our bedroom at random times throughout the night. I am tinkering with the idea of locking her in her room but this is troublesome if she has a big "BM" - which is what we call poops thanks to her school. The other day she was a little sick and her BM was runny and got her PJs wet as well as her sheets. I wouldn't want her trapped in her room in a situation like that. So I'm not sure what the game plan is going to be. Ideas? Oh and also she doesn't want to go to sleep in her bed, only our bed. This is hard because we stay up reading. Any thoughts would be helpful.

As I mentioned, she's been a little sick which means her attitude has been a lot challenging. Lots of screaming and yelling about all the injustices I put her through like putting on shoes, leaving for school, not having candy in the car on the way to school, getting dropped off at school, driving home from school, eating dinner and not candy, turning the tv off, taking a bath, putting on pajamas... you name it. I can't tell you how many times a day I reaffirm to myself that I couldn't balance two children. I know I can't. Uri and I are supposed to open the conversation again in spring and I know what my stance is going to be. He's been working a lot more so most of the tantrums are directed just at me, and it's a lot to endure. I know she's just a little person and sorting things out and I am as calm as I can be but there are times when I snap and I yell back. But anyway, I guess it's what's to be expected from a toddler. Keep Calm and Carry On, as they say.

At the same time, Anna has been all sorts of adorable. She is always saying she loves me, that she is excited to see me, and she is just the cuddliest of cuddle bugs. We have so much fun hugging and smooching and "being cozy" on the couch. "Mama, I want to be cozy with you...." and melt, there goes my heart. She has also had a very active imagination and spent lots of time alone playing with her toys. She pretends they are on an airplane, or are cooking pasta, all sorts of things. She also enjoys playing with our set of wooden coasters. So boy, we are very full of ups and downs.

I've been keeping myself sane with a strange obsession with Etsy which has leaked into Ebay and the interwebs in general. Vintage china sets in particular. Oh lordy I wish I had never traipsed down this path.











We never registered for china for our wedding because we lived in a shoe box (literally 750 sq. ft.) and there was no way. Also I was more into the plain white plate entertaining thing. But now I have a credenza(!!) that is just begging to be filled with beautiful things.

The challenge is that I'm trying to find a larger set - more than 8 place settings. We have big family dinners and I'm shooting for 16 dinner plates. I did find this awesome website where you can complete your china sets. So, in true psycho purchase person fashion, I have an Excel spreadsheet which lists my top china set choices, prices by piece and cost to complete the set if I need more. It was actually really interesting because some sets that seemed cheaper were actually not a good deal! The cool thing is that vintage sets seem to cost less than brand new ones. I guess that's to be expected because pieces are missing and there can be chips but to me that makes them more interesting.

So yeah, things are going. Oh and one more thing. If you value your time and your eyeballs, do NOT EVER go to this website: http://internetkhole.blogspot.com/. (NSFW) Obviously I don't value my time because the k hole has sucked lots of it from my life. And with that, I say adieu.

Down The Rabbit Hole

Recent lack of blogging caused largely by Etsy and Pinterest. Apologies.

My money: it's where my mouth is.

This post has been a long time coming. I have waffled back and forth about finding balance in my life and I just wasn't sure about what to do. Uri's career has kicked into high gear lately and I've been left to pick up the pieces of our family life. He is a wonderful husband and father or course, but he's just not physically there enough to help out with many of our daily routines.

We've had so many discussions about what we should do. Uri and I both agree that his job is the most important to our family - he makes more than I do and he has the potential to go the furthest. He loves his job too, it's what he should be doing. Also, I'm much better at organization and keeping our family going on a day to day basis. But we've just been stuck because I feel like I can't keep all our balls in the air. I lash out at him almost every weekend because I feel trapped and that I'm managing all the responsibility on my own.

We already have a housekeeper so that's a help, but the day to do work of getting me and Anna dressed and out the door and then home and fed and to bed was starting to wear me down. I don't have any time for myself except once she's asleep and then I just collapse in bed to read a bit before crashing. We talked about me quitting my job and I'm just not ready to give up that part of myself. I enjoy the adult interaction, having my own money and independence, and showing Anna some of the choices that women are fortunate enough to have now.

I watched a Betty Friedan documentary and it reminded me of how much I loved this book when I was pregnant.



I thought about what would work FOR ME and how to find balance that I could be happy with. I went to my boss(es) and we started to talk about solutions. And that's how I negotiated myself a 20% decrease in pay. Score! Well, I also negotiated myself a 20% reduction in work. I will no longer be working on Fridays. To me, this is feminism. I refuse to stop pushing, to stop asking the questions, to stop trying to bend the world into a place that works for moms.

I know that I'm lucky in that I can accept a pay cut. It took a leap of faith though. Once you are used to your income, you look at each dollar as a necessity and letting go of that takes a shift. I'll have to cut back on some things (I'm looking at you, J.CREW) but I know it will be worth it. I also have to accept that my colleagues may view me differently once I start the new plan. I may lose my job altogether. It's a risk I'm willing to take.

I'm not sure if one day to myself per week will be the solution that I need. I will be taking Anna in to school on Fridays unless I want to do something special together as a treat. I'm looking forward to getting little things done as well as getting my exercise regimen up and running again. If I have one day I know that I can get moving, I'm hoping that a couple more days will be easier to accomplish.

It's a small step but it's one in the right direction. We'll see how it goes.

CATFLEXING

People, I try to bring you the coolest and latest stuff here on this blog. And now thanks to my sister, we're kicking it old school / new school. Or shall I say skool. Because today I am bringing you a sensation straight out of 1997: Catflexing.

First things first, my sister is a librarian. People donate all sorts of awesome books to her library, like one about Competitive Arm Wrestling from the 70's - a blog post in itself. Yesterday she got the ultimate book:

Catflexing: The Catlover's Guide to Weight Training, Aerobics and Stretching



I can't believe this shizz is for real but it is. Here are some selected pages from the book:







Also some selected reviews from Amazon:

(Five Stars) The "Purr"-fect Gift for Lovers of Cats & Fitness!, January 21, 1998
Stephanie Jackson has crafted an endearing and informative "tale" that reflects her lifelong love of both cats and fun exercise. The tongue-in-cheek commentary will beguile even the mildest of cat fanciers--and she even includes several little-known pointers about cat nutrition. Even if your cats decide to remain inquisitive spectators, they'll enjoy watching **you** play with human toys (i.e., barbells) in their stead. Can't wait to see the video!


(Five Stars) Step aside Jane [Fonda]...and Garfield! This is a hit., October 15, 1997
The best book...um, the ah, only book in its league! Catflexing has got to be the most entertaining yet sincere and informative book I've picked up regarding cats or exercise. What a wacky combination...Jackson's really on to something here.

Okay, it's easy to make fun but once you start thinking about it, maybe she really is on to something! Uri and I decided to give it a try...

Mr. Russell is not such a good sport as the cat in the book - he never even made it behind my head so I could work my shoulders:


Miss Jocey was more into it:




But the ultimate in form and fashion goes to my sister with her cat Bonzai:




I know all you cat lovers out there are going to have a fantastic weekend getting fit AND having special time with your cats. Do it. And if you do, send pictures.

Life is Bootiful

Hello everyone! I have officially made it through our annual investor meeting (which I run) with Uri out of town. It took some arranging but I'm on the other side of it. Earlier this week I was feeling a little down about things - not sure what direction I wanted to go in. It's been hard because Uri's career is really kicking into high gear and I'm left to pick up the pieces of home and family. Of course I LOVE taking care of our home and family, but I also work full time. I've really been going back and forth about what I should do. But I made it through the challenging part of the week and now I feel like I've got a handle on everything again. Yesterday I left early after the meeting and took Anna out for frozen yogurt. We had a fun girls outing and all seems right with the world. I am constantly weighing the pros and cons of being a working mom and right now, the pros are still winning. I'm going to continue to push for more flexibility from my employer and just take it easy.

Anna has been all sorts of cute lately. She will notice a flower while we're driving and pronounce it "bootiful". She also said I was bootiful which was uplifting. The two of us are extremely close right now. She's been having trouble with school drop offs again and I think part of it is that we're so velcro-ed together. Yesterday when we both got in the car to go home after school she said "I LOVE YOU MAMA!" and it was so cute. The unfortunate part about it all is that she's rejecting Uri a bit. I know that kids supposedly go back and forth which what parent they favor - but it's sad to see her tell Uri to leave her room or that she wants mama to hold her and not him. I suspect part of it is how much he's been traveling and working late - she's unsure as to when he'll be there for her. I don't know. I try hard to show her that I love him and am happy to see him - and when he's around I make sure they do stuff together even when she says no at first. She always ends up having fun. But anyway, that's been a bit of challenge.

Anna, my sister and I are going out to support Gay Day at the LA Fair this Sunday. I am looking forward to it. Uri and I went to the OC Fair when I was pregnant, but it's been a long time since I've hit up the LA County Fair. I can't wait for Anna to see all the animals.

Can of Gardening Whoop Ass

Friends! I am back from vacation. I sure have missed everyone although there was a bit of time on vacation that I thought ... "work? why go back to work?" This vacation was the first one with Anna where Uri and I actually felt on top of things. No pumping, no formula, no bottles, much less crazy. We managed our shit (being able to carry all of your own luggage and child without help or Skycap). The plane went fine, the place was nice, we all had fun. But alas, I did return to work and I think it's a good plan in general so that I can support my growing JCrew problem... my precious.

So anyway. This post is about something I am very excited about - an emergence of an actual hobby: gardening. Did you hear that? I am developing a HOBBY. This is probably only mind blowing to other parents who know how difficult it can be to enjoy something of your own when you have a wee one. But thanks to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, I was able to do some stuff around the yard on Tuesday. I wish I was half as good as a photographer as Uri but behold the fruits of my labor:



Walkway to front door


Artistic Close-up


Front Porch


Planter Arrangement


This may be the first time I've planted something in the ground itself and not a pot.

And then, my friends, I had my glory. I bought some hedging shears and straight went to town on some bushes:







I made those things my bitch. Let me tell you. If you've never hedged before, I highly recommend it. It was so glorious. I was sweating and talking out loud to the bushes; it was so much fun. My biceps are still sore! The bushes were definitely my greatest achievement but without a before picture it's not too exciting. Well, even with a before picture it probably wouldn't be that great - but that's okay. I am proud.

Princess Nebraska suggested planting some lettuce, so I hope to do that this weekend. Anna has her own watering can and she helped for a little bit but the lure of the mousekatools was too great for her. That's fine though - after the vacation of much togetherness, I think we both enjoyed a little time to chill.

I really hope I can keep this up. I love having something for myself. Before Anna was born I quilted for a minute, but there is so much involved in that, it's hard to do with a toddler. Not to mention all the pins. I know I go back and forth about whether I can fit in exercise or not and that's one great thing about gardening - it's exercise as well. Nothing like a spin class but still, better than sitting on my butt.

Enjoy the weekend!

One More Vacation Photo

 

Still on vacation over here although we were back in the mainland on Friday. Back to work and to life on Wednesday. Until then, hope everyone is doing well.