Daddy Hangs the Moon

This weekend was beautiful; blue skies and togetherness. A few times we saw a sky writer making a circle in the sky...

 Photo Credit.

Anna looked up at the sky and then asked... "Did Daddy make that?" So cute, she thought that Uri was somehow doing sky writing for her. I think it might be because she sees airplanes doing it and she knows that daddy flies on airplanes a lot. We try not to lie to her but in this case it was just too cute. Uri said "yes, Daddy made that for Anna."

This morning, I took her to the park before her allergist appointment. She looked up at the blue sky and saw some beautiful cloud formations. She asked me again, "Did Daddy make that?" And I just said yes. Uri is leaving tomorrow for eight days in Europe and Anna has a hard time when he's gone for one night let alone seven. I am hoping that we can look up at the things he "made" in the sky and it will help her feel close to him. Worth a try.

Steppin' It Up

Lately, I have been slowly crawling out of the hole that is first time motherhood. It has been a struggle. It was so all encompassing - I feel like I disappeared for a while and all I could be was a mom. And there was so much mom to be! Breastfeeding, pumping, up all hours of the night - it really takes a toll.

But slowly, surely, I've been returning to me. Trying to decide who I am again, re-inventing myself. A little while ago, Holly blogged about fashion and she mentioned Academichic. These ladies fascinated me! Wow - working moms who also have time to put together really cute ensembles, take pictures of it and then share it with the world! Whoa-ho! They are always putting belts on the OUTSIDE of their outfits and I was just blown away by that. I had seen that in catalogs but never in real life. (Sorry to any of my fashion forward friends who rocked this before and I didn't notice your hotness.)

I followed Academichic for a while but I felt in general their style was a little too flowy for me so then I found Kendi Everyday. She's been wearing a lot of skirts and dresses lately but when I started following her she was rocking cute pants a lot and just more my style in general. Also I love this girl: What Would a Nerd Wear. It's just so fun to see the cute stuff these ladies put together on a daily basis! I've seen some other sites that were interesting but I only follow the above two now because they more fit my steez.

So all this inspiration but now what? Well, I decided to take it to a professional. I've spoken a few times here about my love for J Crew and I decided that would be the place where I was reborn into a put-together lady. I went down to my local shop and said that I wanted to sign up for a card (finally after all these years) and that I wanted someone to help me pick out some fun clothes. Well - that was an awesome decision because if you sign up for a card AND use a personal shopper - you get 20% off everything you buy that day. And the best part? The personal shopper is FREE. I had this wonderful guy Chad and he brought me so many awesome things I would never have picked out on my own. I really enjoyed it - it felt so indulgent to have a personal shopper even though it didn't cost anything. (Well, except for the clothes and shoes I bought but hey.) It was great though - instead of picking up pieces here and there, I got a bunch of great new stuff that coordinates really well and I just feel like I look so much more put together every day. It wasn't the cheapest thing I've ever done but it wasn't excessive either. I've gotten compliments from almost all my colleagues at work and even some of my girlfriends. I feel so much better about myself. I take a little more time in the morning thinking about my ensemble and it's something I do for myself. I am putting things together in a new way and I feel like I am ROCKING IT!

Have a great Memorial weekend everyone. Do something just for yourself. Anything. This is an assignment.

Blogging & Real Life Don't Always Mix

Oops. Yesterday I learned that my husband does not always appreciate my hilarious style of writing. I've been writing and reading blogs for so long now that I've adopted some of the styles into my every day emails. One thing in particular that I have fun with is all caps for emphasis. You know, when you REALLY want to make a point about something.

So yesterday I sent Uri a slightly dramatic email about our personal finances and I may have emphasized some things with ALL CAPS. Um, he saw that and just tuned the hell out. He thought I was yelling at him and I guess I was. The thing is, I tend to talk really loudly when I get excited (or drunk, or just whenever), and I've now brought that exuberance into my writing. Ladies - not a good thing to do in an email to your husband. Unless I guess it's about how MUCH you want to HAVE SEX TONIGHT or something like that. I am guessing that would be okay. (Sorry mom.)

He said I was being a little ridiculous and well, of course I was. Sometimes I feel like we are Dharma & Greg, I am such a spazz and he's so cool-headed. (And yet I'm the saver, it's so fascinating, right?)

Well, we talked about it reasonably after dinner without yelling (we don't yell in real life, just me in email). He established a dollar amount that I am allowed to bug him about and everything under that dollar amount is just water under the bridge - I need to figure it out and just deal with it. So that's pretty fair.

And now, deep breaths. And a word from our sponsors, Anna and Livvy:

The Spender & The Saver

Isn't that just how it is? It seems to me that most couples I know have a spender and a saver. Although I do know a few couples with two savers together (boring) or two spenders (dangerous). For us, I'm the saver and Uri is the spender. Personally I've had times in my life where I was barely getting by, I've also seen my parents go through very difficult times financially and on top of that I used to be a personal financial advisor. Money is always in the forefront of my brain. I'm sure it doesn't seem like I'm very savings-oriented to many of you who read  my blog, what with my persistent Amazon habit and tendency to go on vacation. But I'm always mentally balancing our financial goals with our spending habits and lately I feel like things have been spinning a little out of control.

Our last few months, things have been getting tighter and tighter. Being the pessimist, I am completely flipping out and being the optimist, Uri is sure I'm overreacting. We're both probably a little right and of course, that means we're both probably a little wrong too. Welcome to marriage, right?

It amazes me how the little things continually add up. A dinner here, some groceries there, Amazon this and that, BAM! Paycheck's gone missing! I've tried to get by without micro-budgeting, I really don't want to analyze the percentage we spend on eating out vs. groceries, wine, whatever. I used to do that and it drove me batty. But when I stopped keeping an eye on it, it just started going up, up up! At the very least, we save in our retirement fund and I do some cash savings every month. Thank goodness I've been rigid about that but still, our spending has not been pretty.

What really gets my goat about it is that we're just pissing money away. By not spending mindfully, we throw our earnings away. Sure, I like eating out but in a few years time I won't be thinking fondly of all those dinners out - I'll be wishing I'd had less of them and more benjamins in the bank. Of course there is another side to the story. It's not good to save too much in the present - to sacrifice the good times you can have today. We'll never be younger than we are today and I can't think of people who more need a glass of nice wine than parents of a toddler. But where is the right balance? It's been on my mind more lately than before because we're thinking about moving again (as usual). Thinking about moving causes you to think about your lifestyle and what you need and what you don't. It's good to go through these mental inventories now and again.

I don't have an answer. All I know is something's got to give.

Strange Night

Everyone was a little nuts at our house last night. This innocent looking cat was really on a rampage:



He was going to town eating all the plastic in a 10 foot radius of our bed. Those of you who have ever heard a cat chow down on plastic know exactly how loud and annoying it is. Uri has already put our bedroom trash in the bathroom to dissuade him but last night the cat was really out-doing himself, finding all sorts of plastic everywhere.

The thing is, sometimes the cat just decides that he is really hungry - like at 3 am or something. He will run around chewing stuff loudly until we wake up and go feed him. Now if it's just me at home, I refuse to feed him so he mostly doesn't play me like that. But he knows Uri will break down so he really hams it up.

Finally Uri just feeds him and then around 4:30 I hear really loud crying coming from Anna's room. She mostly sleeps through the night now so I went to investigate. She was up on her knees in her bed with these little play boots for one of her stuffed animals saying "NO BOOTS! NO BUNNY BOOTS!" It was actually pretty hilarious. Made no sense. I quietly took the boots away, tucked her back under the blanket and lay down with her for a little bit. She was breathing really heavy - those boots were really upsetting for some reason.

Neither Uri or I could really sleep well after all the interruptions so we were a bit late getting our day started. Somehow I made it to work on time and had some extra tea - all is well. 

The Girls

Girls' Weekend 2011

I am so very fortunate that my great girlfriends from college have kept in touch over the years. Now that many of us have kids, we aren't able to see each other or talk on the phone as much as we'd like. But we try to do a little get-away once a year. Weekends like this take planning and commitment from everyone involved and I'm so glad we all get it done.

This past weekend, we celebrated the non-rapture in San Diego. It was a beautiful time full of hilarity, deep thoughts, silly thoughts and togetherness. Fellow blogger Melissa did a little write up of some of the weekend, you can read about it here (and also see some pictures of moi).

It was great for me to get away and for Anna to have some special daddy bonding time. I was so happy to see both of them when I got back on Sunday. But I'm also so glad that I went.

Today's harebrained idea

It seems that standing desks are all the rage lately. I am testing it out today. We'll see how it goes. Also, notice I am wearing a belt on the OUTSIDE of my shirt. I am really pushing boundaries today.

(Mom, I know, I'm using some lightening cream for it and I'll try more concealer.)

Last night I was that person

Oh sigh. I knew the time would come when I was eventually the person with a scene going on in a restaurant. We eat out quite a bit and I've usually managed to come out of the experience with my dignity intact and not too many stares. But last night, even people WITH KIDS were giving us the side looks. At least we were in a family oriented chain restaurant.

Last night, Anna and I went to dinner with Cupcake Mama and her little bean. We have an extra car seat installed in the super Mazda so Anna is always thrilled when bean gets to ride in the car with her. Dinner started out fine - with Anna emptying all the sugar packets out of the little sugar packet dispenser at the table. We did okay drinking milk and eating some food but at some point Anna just gets antsy. She was trying to drink water out of a straw out of the huge adult glass and spilled some on her. She absolutely can't handle wearing a wet shirt so she insisted I take it off. There is screaming, there is a baby with no shirt on in the restaurant - I don't know, suddenly it just got out of hand. It was a small place and man, I just knew I was that lady. Even my good friend was kind of like uh - what the hell? I took Anna outside for a breather and the other people with kids were even watching us at that point. You know, they were probably just praising Jesus that it was someone else with the crazy kid situation so I shouldn't even trip. But still, sheesh.

Anyway, it turned out fine. I put an extra jacket on her after she calmed down and she walked around with bean a little near our booth. We went home without any additional shenanigans.

Anna was cracking me up this morning. I go get her around 7:00 am and bring her into our bed to have milk and breakfast. Lately she has really enjoyed eating a whole banana with a peel and peeling it herself. She calls the peel "trash" - which it is. So she comes in and sees the banana this morning and says "Anna have trash banana?" I guess meaning she wants the whole thing with the peel. Also, she kept asking me to wipe the "noodles" off her hands - the little stringy things that came off the banana. It was cute. Ah kids, ups and downs, ups and downs.

No! THESE pants!

Anna has started to have an opinion about what she wears every day. This is both exciting and hilarious; I have no idea why she prefers what she does. This morning I was going to put on some of her jean leggings because it's raining and she just wouldn't have it. I thought maybe she wanted to go pick her own pants out of the drawer but she wanted to wear her bird pants - the same ones she wore yesterday (yes, they were still laying on the floor in my room where I took them off last night). I had already dressed her in a multicolored polka dot shirt but I thought what the hell.



She also insisted on her navy shoes as well as a bow in her hair. I had already grabbed the pink sweater so we just went with that too.

The pants are a little dirty from being worn all day yesterday but I could care less. It's really too bad I didn't take a picture before I put the sweater on because the polka dot shirt with the bird pants was a pretty funny sight. I guess if I had pants like that they would be my favorite too.

Refresh & Recharge

On Saturday I was lucky enough to attend the RIE Annual Meeting. I've written about RIE here before, it's a style of mindful parenting that I really click with. RIE is practiced at Anna's school and I've also read several books about it.

I know I've talked before about abandoning theories and parenting books but RIE is something that sticks with me and I really see it as a life-long journey with Anna and our future child too.Of course, I've made some adaptations to the RIE method as I see fit for my own family and life. For example, RIE discourages putting children in contraptions like swings  and exersaucers. I see exactly where they are coming from with this and I know that you can overuse an exersaucer. But we were given one as a hand me down and Anna enjoyed it every so often. We gave her plenty of time to play on the floor and use her muscles - she was rolling like a pin ball all over the living room for months. 

If you are interested in learning more about this mindful, respectful way of parenting, definitely check out Janet Lansbury's blog. She summarizes things in a really easy to understand way. (Although truly, the whole thing is ridiculously easy  to understand because it just makes sense.)  I actually got to meet Janet this weekend as well as listen to a host of other very inspiring people. I also met another mommy blogger who talks about her journey with RIE.

The most important message that I get from RIE is to truly respect your child as an individual from birth - that they are processing so much and more aware than we can imagine. I've always spoken to Anna clearly and explained to her what we are doing and why. Sometimes my life has gotten rushed and stressed so I veer away from mindfulness and this one day meeting was such a great reminder of Magda Gerber's teachings and why they really work. I know many of you instinctively practice many of these principals and that almost all of you puke at the thought of one more parenting book. But give Janet's blog a peep - you just might learn a few amazing things.She is a true parenting resource.

And yes, just one day of recharging and bringing myself back to center has helped immensely with my feisty toddler. It's amazing how just recognizing their needs is almost always enough to get them to calm down. My husband couldn't believe it when Anna was so upset and I diffused the situation so quickly. She wanted (as always) to watch one of our many videos of herself. Lord these things are boring but she's endlessly fascinated by seeing herself in action. However, we draw the line with how many times we're going to sit in front of the computer and play short after short of Anna going down a slide, playing the piano, coloring, whatever. At some point it's like dude! Why don't you just ACTUALLY PLAY? Anyways, usually when she gets into one of her movie frenzies it's impossible to calm her down. But I just went back to the simple method of saying calmly - "you are really upset because you want to watch a movie," and "you're telling us that you want to watch a movie". Of course, it's not magic but it works so much better than something like "we can't watch a movie now because..." or "You want to watch a movie but we already watched a movie" or "it's not time to watch a movie." It's so strange, I don't even have to explain it at all, I just have to acknowledge her feelings and then we can move on. Just like any of us, she just wants to be heard and understood.

I feel like a lot of the time as parents, we acknowledge our child's feelings quickly - just a preemptive strike before we follow up with the BUT part of the statement. I know you don't want to put your shoes on BUT... I hear you that you don't want to sit down right now BUT... Refocusing this weekend has helped me to forget about the BUT and just slow down and come to Anna's perspective. Really try to listen to her and understand her. That's what I mean by respect and it's truly profound.

I leave you with a picture of Anna playing with some paper and water at school last week; exploring her world:


Much love as always - E.

Oh and also a quick note - some of you have asked for the ability to be notified via email when I post a new blog. I have added that feature to the right hand side of the blog - enjoy!

Reach Out to Alabama

Hi Folks. Been kind of a dead week around Polka Dot Hippo. Things are going well just haven't been inspired much to write. One thing that is inspiring though is Rachel's work in Alabama. She has been personally collecting money, then buying helpful supplies and driving them to areas that need it most. Very cool. Check out what she's done and if you have a chance, help her to help others.

Thank You Life

Today I went for a little walk outside by myself. The weather was perfect - sunny and a little crisp - and I felt lucky to be alive. I feel so thankful for things big and small today. Things like:

• Mazda opened a dealership in Santa Monica! Now I don't have to drive 40 miles to get my warranty work done.
• I feel like I have a handle on things again. I am "breaking up" with my psychologist tomorrow. (I love her but dang she is expensive. Also, not exactly close to my office and she only works during traditional work hours.)
• Uri was awesome sauce yesterday. He served a special lunch to me, Anna, my mom, my sister and his great aunt Marguerite. He took care of Anna while I had a nap and he made some delicious seafood for me and Cupcake Mama and then cleaned it all up. He and Anna even picked out some flowers for me while I was napping. Very cool. Oh and he served me a beer in a frosty glass in bed once I woke up from my nap. That's what I call the full Mother's Day experience!
• Anna has turned some kind of a corner. Or I have. I don't know. I think it could be that we're getting a hold on the allergy situation but she's just been so much more gentle and patient and just all around wonderful. It has been so nice.
• I have a special weekend coming up this month with my college besties. We're going to San Diego and doing it up at the Jazz Festival. I can't wait.
• Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I. Twice in two days.
• My sister had an awesome first date this weekend.
• My mom was thrilled about her Mother's Day gift, a tupperware set. It's been a while since I've picked such a winning gift for her. 
• Between me, my mom and my sister, Anna has a nice little infusion into her spring/summer wardrobe. She loved her new clothes so much she wanted to change into one of the outfits yesterday. It was really cute.
• Phish is coming to the Hollywood Bowl this summer, I will be there.

In general, life is good. I am not taking it for granted. 

Don't Mess With Me

Courtesy of the talented Becky at PISH POSH! AND STUFF!

Queen's Day

It all started in 2004. I was working in marketing for a bad ass boss (big ups J-town) and we were having an event in Amsterdam so I went to help out. Holler! My sister tagged along and helped out for the event then we made a vacation out of the rest of the trip. It was so unbelievably fun. It turns out that we happened to be in town for a righteous national holiday: Queen's Day: 



From Wikipedia: In recent years, Koninginnedag (Queen's Day) has become more and more of an open-air party, with many concerts and special events in public spaces, particularly in Amsterdam, which attracts anywhere from 500,000 to 800,000 visitors. Many Dutch people living abroad try to make the pilgrimage home (with many 'clued-up' tourists) to experience this holiday each year. Booking accommodations in Amsterdam and elsewhere for Queen's Day is notoriously difficult, requiring booking 6 months or more ahead.



Woo! And we just happened upon it.

In 2005, we decided to relive Queen's Day here at home so we had a party:



And then this past Saturday we had our 3rd Queen's Day (Second in the US):



It was a delightful event full of beer, hot dogs and ultimate family matching.







Awesome.

Vanity

My sister came out this weekend and it was awesome. One thing that we sometimes do together is watch bad reality TV. Lately my sister has been into the Real Housewives of Orange County. It's hard to look at these women without judging:

I look at them and think wow - anyone could look like that if you dedicated enough time and money to it. With the exception of the gal in the green dress - it's formulaic: thin, tan, long hair, dye it really blond, lots of hairspray, lots of makeup, showy clothes, lots of jewelry. I don't know what's more strange - the fact that these women choose to portray themselves as these ridiculous characters or the fact that our society values it enough to welcome them back to the tube season after season. Another thought: maybe they aren't portraying themselves as ridiculous - maybe they really are? Could this be who they really are? Admittedly, I haven't watched the show enough to have an expert's opinion on these women. I can't tell you their names or their stories so maybe I'm off the mark and they are fabulous philanthropists or something.

When I see them though - I question myself. It's so easy to poke fun at the vanity of these women with their boob jobs (I'm looking at you, magenta dress lady) but is it not but for the grace of God go I? How am I so different? I dye my hair, I wear makeup, I care enough about my weight to check myself on the scale every now and then.

If I think about what I'd like for people to say about me when I'm not around - it's stuff like "she's a good friend," "she's funny," "she's a great mom, wife," "she cares about things".... not once would I want someone to say "she's good-looking". But also, I wouldn't want someone to say "she's fugly" either. But why do I care? Where is the balance? Why do I waste time and space thinking about and writing about stuff like my hair or my under eye circles? Why do I spend moments of my life applying eye makeup every morning? How am I so different from these women?

One of my friends has a vanity budget. She allows herself a certain amount per month for clothing, hair, makeup, etc. I think this is a neat way of looking at it but I've learned that more budgeting is not really helpful for me. It makes me focus MORE on something instead of freeing me from thinking about it.

I guess the thing is - I don't have an answer for this. Not even a vague idea. How do YOU balance being a good person with being a person who looks good? Do you care?