On Friday night, we went out to dinner at R&D Kitchen, one of our favorite family-friendly restaurants. It's great because they have booths and changing tables in the bathroom - one for the women AND one for the men. Amen. Once we had enjoyed some of our wine and our dinner was placed before us, I made my announcement to Uri. The big news is that I have changed my mind and I'm willing to try for another child. I think after writing this post, something in me began to change. I'm not sure if it was listing all the reasons I wanted to have one child or just saying it in such a convincing way. A little door opened up in my heart and I just started to think - well, maybe, just maybe.
Uri and I had always planned to have two children but the first year was just so difficult for me. And pregnancy was no piece of cake either. But the meds have really made a difference in my life - I don't feel like I'm just fighting to get through the day any more. Some of my blog friends have been posting about their own thoughts on the matter and this got me thinking too. I think I can do it. I want to do it. I know it won't be easy but it's right.
I feel so much better now; I know the decision is the right one. We're not trying yet - we're waiting for Anna to be a little older first. I'd prefer the kiddos to be 3 years apart if I can swing it. We're going to "pull the goalie" around Anna's 2nd birthday. Also this gives me a full summer to just enjoy and not be pregnant or breast feeding. Also - the breast feeding may not last as long the second time around. If I'm struggling, I'm going to consider quitting and going back on meds. Breast feeding is great but my own stability as a mother is more important. I know I would never make it pumping 10 months again - not when I know how freeing it was to stop. I'll do the best I can but I'm not going to push myself so hard. I want to have more balance and enjoy the whole thing more. I think this will be better for everyone in the family.
So of course, who knows how long it will take and what the journey has in store for us - but I've opened the door.
Congrats on making a decision. Sometimes that is the hardest part! Woo hoo.
ReplyDeleteAlright! How fun!!! Congrats to you and your family for what's to come. Very exciting. :)
ReplyDeleteGood for you for knowing your limits. It will be the world of difference the 2nd time around. I can attest!! The word "slack" comes to mind. Giving ourselves enough slack is such a gift. Why I didn't know this after 1, I have no idea...
I'm glad you are happy with your decision. And honestly, I think a happy mommy is more important that a breastfeeding mommy so if you can't swing the BFing for as long the second time around, then so be it. I am seriously dreading it this time, but hoping this baby will be a good BFer and I won't have to pump as much. Either way, I think I will call it quits by 6 months.
ReplyDeleteNoooo! What you wrote singlehandedly made me realize maybe I wanted just one, but I need you to have just one so that I can be strong enough to have just one too! Ha ha ha. Everytime I tell people I want just one, everyone gives me a death stare about how I'm a horrible person for not giving Gabrielle a sibling! I felt so much more confident in my decision if I wasn't the only one with that decision!!!
ReplyDeleteOk, I'm just teasing you, that is super exciting news! I got a feeling I'll also change my mind in the future, we'll see. Congrats on the decision and good luck! Anna is cute and smart and confident, I know you will do great with 2!
Congrats on the decision, that is very exciting news! Anna is so cute and smart and confident, you will be great with 2!
Damn typing on iPhone, on the tiny screen I didn't notice I accidentally wrote the same thing twice! Oops!
ReplyDeleteGood for you! It's funny...Dan and I just made up our minds this week to only have one. My body just doesn't like to be pregnant.
ReplyDeleteOMG--that is big news!! Congrats!!
ReplyDeleteLove this update! It really put a smile on my face.
ReplyDeleteThis IS big news. It was neat to read how you processed it all because it's just so different for everyone regardless of the endpoint.
ReplyDeleteDude, what if you have a blonde haired, blue eyed boy. CUTENESS!
YAY! In my experience, and it seems like it works this way for a lot of people, my first baby was a huge blow to my life. It took me at least 6 months before I started to relax in my new role as a mother. And even then it was still challenging. When I became pregnant with Derek I cried. I WAS NOT READY! But he came anyway and I can't even explain how it was just SO MUCH BETTER the second time around. He was way fussier as an infant, but it was still so much better. I'm hoping it's going to be the same for you... :)
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