2 more months? Really?

I knew it would start getting to the point where things became uncomfortable. It's not terrible yet, but I'm starting to feel pretty awkward.

32 weeks

I'm not used to having so much of myself protruding out in the front - my belly gets all wet when I'm washing dishes, and I'm always accidentally bumping it into things like the car door or the washing machine. There is so much more of me than before. Some of my maternity shirts don't even fit any more; they are too short because my belly is popping out so much. I've been having heartburn off and on but my doctor told me to take Prilosec Complete (or the generic, which I take) and that's been working pretty well. My legs are definitely sore every day now. I bought some muscle relaxing bubble bath and soak at night - it helps a little. It blows my mind that I have 8 (or more! or less?) weeks to get bigger. I just can't imagine it.

I think about last time with Anna and how I didn't even go into labor. I had to be induced because my water broke. So what if my water hadn't broken, would I have gone for a couple more weeks? I've been kind of targeting August 15 again like we had with Anna and secretly hoping it's a bit earlier... what if it just keeps dragging on past that?

I look at other pregnant ladies when I'm out and about and I feel like I can tell the ones who are close to their due date. That swelling in the legs and face, the extremely uncomfortable look. Ugh. I just keep thinking wow, it's only June. I'm in this thing until some time in August.

I guess it would be wise if I just tried to focus more on the present and enjoy the summer - enjoy the last moments without an infant clamped to me 24/7. I'm trying. But man, I'm going to get bigger. Whoa.

Father's Day picnic - really nice

For Mother's Day this year, we got spiffed up and went to a fancy brunch. I wanted a different feel for Father's Day so we decided to do a picnic lunch at Montalvo. The weather was perfect and we all really enjoyed ourselves.

I decided to put a little effort into the menu to make it special. Anna and I went grocery shopping while Uri rode his bike, then I spent some time in the kitchen getting things prepared. It wasn't really that much work and having a home-made picnic just seemed a bit more festive than grabbing things to-go. Here are the things I prepared:

End-of-the-Week Deli Sandwich 

Fresh Corn and Tomato Salad

Quick and Easy White Bean Salad

Pineapple Cake (I made cupcakes)

I don't usually comment on my recipes but the deli sandwich was insanely delicious. Uri couldn't stop saying how good it was. He even said it was better than the Bay Cities Godmother which is pretty much the ultimate sandwich compliment. For the sandwich, I made some roasted red bell pepper spread by chopping up roasted red bell peppers and then using the immersion blender to mix them with mayo. I used havarti cheese, black forest ham, (low sodium) turkey breast, mortadella and prosciutto. I used the exact trimmings from the recipe, red onion, tomato, (baby) arugula and pepperoncini. For the bread I used ciabatta. I usually use the photos from the online recipes but Uri happened to take a picture of our sandwich and it turned out okay so that's what you see above. Yum.

Oh and the pineapple cake was so good. I made cupcakes because I don't have cake pans and also because they travel better for a picnic. It was so satisfying to use cool whip in a recipe and I can't really say why. The pineapple frosting stuff is so good you can just go nuts and eat it with a spoon. I used light cool whip and it was great. A perfect summer dessert - light and dreamy. I also like that it uses boxed yellow cake so it was pretty simple to make. I think I have to distribute the rest of these to the neighbors quickly or else I will pig out on them like no one's business.

So it was a fun and simple day to celebrate our main man:

Best Dad Ever

You know, it's funny. I had a lot of considerations when I was out there husband hunting. I have to say at the time, I never really thought much about what a potential mate might be like as a father. I feel so lucky to have a guy like Uri as my parenting partner. I asked Anna to say some nice things about her dad and she listed "strong, smart, happy and funny." Those are all true and all pretty wonderful characteristics for a dad. He is truly such a happy guy - he is literally never upset with us and has never yelled at me or Anna - not once. His personality is so easy going, he is a wonderfully mellow force in our family. I am glad we had this day to be thankful for him.

Because it's hard

I remember back when I used to take yoga, the instructors would say that the most difficult poses for you were the ones you needed the most. I had so much trouble with a relatively simple pose that stretched my feet - I would start cramping up in minutes. I guess my feet were all tensed up from prancing around in high heels all day at work. I never wanted to do poses like that - I would rather do poses that I was good at, ones that made me feel strong and showed that I knew what I was doing. It was hard to admit weakness and work on something that was so simple for others yet so hard for me.

Today our day time babysitter brought her two kids to our house while she watched Anna, and I could see how difficult it was for Anna to deal with. Usually she has the sitter all to herself and well, she kind of bosses the sitter around. They play all sorts of games with the ponies, make crafts, I've even seen Anna running after her squirting her with a water balloon. But today Anna had to share both the sitter's time and her own toys and crafts. Sometimes Anna can be so good with sharing. I think it's a little easier for her when the neighborhood kids are over because it's a good mix of ages and having two boys balances it out. I've never seen the boys want to play with her most precious possessions - her ponies and her stuffed animals. But the babysitter's daughter is only 5 and wanted to play ponies, which can be difficult for Anna who has been an only child for almost 4 years. We have the same troubles with another little play date friend who is Anna's age.

When the babysitter left today, Anna was in tears. She was upset about the ponies, tired from the interaction and just completely frazzled. We had to talk a lot about sharing, her feelings, and trying to - as she calls it - "make the bad go away". I made a new sticker chart - called the "Good Attitude Chart", where she gets a star each time she is really upset but turns her frown upside down. I told her that stars can be taken away if she can't make the bad go away. So we'll see how that goes. The prize at the end is ponies of course. Bribery, yes, but I'm okay with that.

My initial thought was to tell the babysitter that bringing her kids over won't work out for us. But the more I think about it, that's just not the right answer. First of all, I was a working mom myself fand I know how sometimes you just can't find child care. I'm okay with her bringing her children here every so often if she needs to. As long as I can get out, exercise and run a few errands, it's worth it for me.

But more importantly, I think it's okay if she brings her kids over exactly because it's hard for Anna. I'm hoping that each time she has to share, that's she's forced to interact with other kids in her home environment, that she can learn from it. I hope that eventually she will learn how to navigate these situations successfully without getting so upset. My parenting style is extremely laid back but that doesn't mean I'm not looking for opportunities for Anna to grow and learn, I think this can be one of them. At some point we all learn that the world doesn't revolve around us - perhaps it hurts at first but I think in the end it's very freeing.

I'll leave you with a picture of some of our latest masterpieces. Michelle gave me the great craft idea of gluing things onto paper plates. Simple but genius. I helped on these but we had fun.

Paper plate-tastic

Ultimate hospital bag list with commentary

I don't usually make packing lists anymore. I used to be really into it - I had a list for every trip. Now I feel like I have things pretty well down and I don't need to think of every single thing. Plus, you can always buy what you need - at least at the places where I end up. 

However, I am running out of nesting activities to occupy my time. The nursery is finished. My registry is done and I'm just waiting for it to go 10% off so I can buy all the things. I bought blackout shades today and will have Uri help me put them up tonight. I have all kinds of craft ideas bought and stored for the summer. I don't have any more trips to go on. So now what? Ah, hospital bag. It gives me a project to focus on.

I looked back at what I was packing for when Anna was in the hospital, and it was all very focused on the birth itself. I mean, I had a separate "birth goodie bag". WTH. Let me tell you about the amount of good all that business did for me - none. Since I am planning to have the exact same birth experience as Sarah Lena did here, none of that stuff will even matter. (Basically, labor started, she chilled, then the baby came out. No pain. Awesome times.) However, I am packing some stealth goodies in case my labor goes past 24 hours like last time. The hospital refuses to feed you and I see their point but holy hell, I'm sneaking some almonds and candy dudes. 

Also, with Anna, we were only 6 blocks away from the hospital. I packed light for the overnight portion knowing that Uri could go and grab me anything I wanted. But looking back now, he wasn't really interested in leaving me to go get some random item. This time we'll be a little farther away so I just want to be sure I have the things I want from the get-go.

Erica's Ultimate Hospital Bag List 

Image source

Clothing

• Gownie
• Socks 
• Underwear
• Nursing Pajama Set
• Nursing tank
• Maternity yoga pants
• Sweatshirt
• Flip flops for shower
• Flip flops for going home

I still have my gownie from Anna's birth so that will work a second time. I am so thrilled that someone bought this ridiculously expensive mom & baby pajama set from my registry. I added it on a whim but it's so cute and I think it will be fun to wear in the hospital and at home. I know that hospitals are really clean and I'm sure the showers are more than sanitary but I remember last time just wanting flip flops for the bathroom. 

Baby Stuff

• Car seat in car
• Gift for Anna from little brother

Last time I brought a whole cute outfit for Anna to wear home but I don't think I put it on her - just getting out of the hospital was a challenge for some reason. (AHHH! We have a baby! What are we going to do!!???) So I'm not even bothering this time. Plus my awesome pajama set comes with a baby outfit if I'm so inclined. The hospital gave us everything else - blanket, hat, I think even a onesie, so I'm not worried about that. 

Toiletries

• Shampoo & conditioner
• Deodorant
• Body lotion
• Bar of soap (I am a bar soap person)
• Toothpaste, toothbrush, floss
• Chapstick
• Makeup
• Hair tyes
• Hairspray
• Comb & brush

The first time, I was WAY too lean on the toiletries. This time I am bringing it all, yes, even hairspray. I may not want to get all dolled up, but then again I may. I will be prepared.

Conveniences

• Hair dryer
• Bath towel & hand towel
• iPad loaded with movies and music
• iPad speaker & charger

Hair dryer! I wish I had this last time. It's important to remember that a hospital is not a hotel! Maybe some hospitals have hair dryers but mine didn't last time. I felt so gross after everything and wanted to wash my hair, but then I had to sit around with wet hair. Lame. Not this time! Also, bath towels. I remember the hospital bath towels being very utilitarian. I would like a nicer towel. Oh and it will be an OLD bath towel because um, well, if you don't know, maybe you don't need to know. I'll probably leave it behind when we go home. I'm not going to the length of bringing my pillow because I don't remember being that excited by it last time and I'm already dragging around a ton of stuff. 

I know hospitals have televisions but I HATE regular TV and I hate commercials even more. I am going to put a few movies on my iPad in case labor goes long again. If the hospital has Wi-Fi, I may watch Netflix and Amazon Prime. Last time we had some DVDs and a laptop - I think we were living in a pre-iPad world then, hard to imagine.

Medicine 

• Regular daily vitamins
• Fiber pills
• Prunes
• Stool softeners

Okay, I know my medicine list is really poop focused here. But I remember having to have a bowel movement before I could leave the hospital and with very little food in my system initially and then pain killers added to that - it wasn't the easiest thing. I remember my mom kept pestering the nurses to give me stool softeners and they kept forgetting. I'll just bring my own this time. Although I think the fiber and the prunes might do it. 

Snacks (shhhh)

• Candy
• Nuts
• Chocolate

So there it is, my hospital bag. I haven't done a hospital tour yet - heck, I haven't even SEEN the place. It was the one my doctor recommended so I just went with it. I am taking Anna to a sibling class in late July and that's when I'll check it out. I really hope they have private labor rooms but well, if they don't, they don't. 

The only loose end hanging out there is what to do with Anna during this whole process. I am hoping to only stay over one night, and once the baby is born, Uri's priority will be Anna. I think I'm going to ask our Friday night sitter if she can sleep over if labor goes long and/or through the night. For the day time, I have another sitter as well as a bunch of neighbors so I hope we're covered. Plus, Anna can come to the hospital during the day once the baby is here - I think it's best she stays at home for labor and delivery. So we'll see. I have yet to ask our sitter what she thinks about staying over night because she's new, but I think she'll be okay with it. I realize I have some time here but I'm always thinking about stuff like this. I'll feel better once I have all the details ironed out. 

So now, the wait. I can't believe it's still 2 months away. 

The last hurrah

Anna and I just got home from one last trip before we settle in for the long haul waiting for baby. The next bag I'm going to pack will be my hospital bag! It was supposed to be just a trip for me but it got entangled with a work trip to Japan for Uri and I ended up flying Anna to the airport by my mom's for a drop off and then getting right back on a plane for my girls' weekend. A little different than I had planned but I ended up being able to stay at my mom's for a few days at the end so it was all good.

Girls' weekend was fantastic. My college friends have been doing little getaways together since 2005 and this year we went to Scottsdale, AZ. It was incredibly hot but the location was convenient for everyone and especially me since my mom's house was right on the way. I was only able to go for one night but that was enough to see everyone and have a nice change of pace.

Also very fun was the fact that my good friend Lindsay is pregnant too - exactly the same # of weeks as me!

31 weeks and doing it up

I wish we would have gotten a sideways shot because our bellies looked so alike. But anyway there we are. The only two flat haired girls in the group because everyone else went to the Dry Bar and got blow-outs:

My pretty friends

As always, I enjoy talking to these girls and getting their perspectives on things. We've known each other since we were Freshman in college so it's fun to see how everyone has changed - and not changed. My friend Melissa did a little write up of the trip on her blog if you are dying to see more pictures of my friends posing in their nice outfits.

I can't believe it but on my flight from my mom's to Phoenix, I actually missed my little travel buddy Anna. I always tease Uri about his business travel that being on an airplane alone is the ultimate indulgence. But it was actually kind of lonely. I'm so used to traveling with Anna in tow that it just felt so boring without her. She's turned out to be quite the traveler - not even 4 and she's been on about 30 flights. She even knows how to equalize her ears on the descent now which is really helpful. I know that travel will get a little more tricky again when the baby is born but we don't have anything major planned until March. Plus I won't be pumping so that's one less bag to carry and a LOT less hassle to deal with.

And now I'm transitioning to chill mode. Hanging around town, growing larger, getting things ready. The next thing I'm going to tackle is the hospital bag. I have some better ideas this time so I'll post my list once I get it ready.

What's an hour to you?

This week has been slightly challenging.  As well as Anna did in Hawaii, she hasn't breezed the transition back to being at home. A lot of the challenge comes from her new neighborhood friends. I love that she plays with them almost every day, but they have a lot later schedule than she does, often leaving our house at 7:00 pm. That pushes Anna's dinner and bedtime routine back, and she's often not asleep until 8:30 or 8:45. What has been hard is that she has still been waking up at 6:00 am. So she's running on empty every day and snapping at times when I know she should be able to handle things.

I was talking to my mom about it last night and she suggested a black out shade. I talked to Uri about it later and it made sense because in Hawaii she adjusted and slept in later, but we were in a condo with dark curtains. So I devised a test:

All class, all the time

It worked! It really worked! She slept until almost 7:00. I can't tell you the difference this makes in her personality in the morning, hopefully it will hold out for the rest of the day. So now I have to work on making a permanent change in her room. As shiny and space age as aluminum foil looks, I'm not sure it's the permanent solution for our home. I noticed that the window has a hook for a small curtain rod:

Curtain rod mount

So I think this is where I need to start. Some really dark curtains that can block the light - I will probably have to velcro them to the wall on the sides or something. I really don't want to deal with taking down the existing blinds and mounting something new in the window.

Any suggestions?

More letting go

Today I closed my personal checking account. It made sense for tons of reasons but when I logged in to my bank website and saw it gone, I felt a little trill of fear. My old, tough single girl self would recoil in horror at what I've become - reliant on someone else for my entire existence. I don't own a car. I'm not on the lease of the house. I don't have a freaking checking account! I do have one credit card and I still have an IRA account, but that's it. At least we set up a trust, so all our assets besides our retirement accounts are held jointly - but it was so strange to actually close that account today.

I had seen it coming. The account hasn't had any inflows for over a year. When I quit my job, I stashed my last few paychecks and vacation accrual in there. It became my fun money - I'd use it at Disneyland or whatever outings Anna and I were up to. I used it to pay my cell phone and my Old Navy card. But the account kept dwindling and it had started to get to the point where I wasn't using the ATM because the funds were getting too low. So today I axed it. Mostly it's freeing - one less address to update when we move, one less password to manage. I can visit the ATM with confidence! At the end of the day, it's not really a big deal. Just another mundane task of financial consolidation and efficient management of the family finances. But it was a part of me for so long. I used to monitor that balance every single day - I still have the spreadsheet. And now it's just one more piece of the past.

A picture of me in 2005, right around the time I set up the old account:

awesome